Self- Sabotage

Self-Sabotage ( written by Renee of Skwiggs’s World)
I recently had a conversation about distorted body image and that phenomenon that causes people to sabotage themselves whenever they get close to their goals. Otherwise sane people often get to within a few pounds of their healthy weight and then suddenly chuck all of the healthy habits and binge for months at a time. And it usually isn’t a one time occurrence. For a lot of people, the pattern repeats itself over and over again. We talked about my eating disorder, and BFL, and whether I’d ever had trouble seeing myself clearly or dealing with success. The conversation basically turned into an article, so I thought I’d post the whole thing. It’s a timely subject because so many people start with good intentions on January 1st and then disappear into a pile of candy wrappers by Valentines Day.

In my case, the eating disorder was so messed up that there wasn’t any success to deal with, I was never happy with my weight or appearance no matter what. When I started Body for Life I was already healthy and my weight only changed by like 4-5 pounds, so it wasn’t really an issue then either. Although, after losing quite a few inches, I do sort of remember an uncomfortable feeling like I was literally disappearing.

My particular hang up with food and weight is that I eat for 10,000 reasons other than being hungry. I’ll eat to reward, entertain, comfort, and numb myself. If I’m thinking about something I don’t like, all I have to do is eat a pint of ice cream and I’ll stop thinking. If food is your coping mechanism and you suddenly give it up, you’re left alone with all the icky emotional stuff. Bingeing dumbs it back down and takes the edge off.
In order to get past that stumbling block, you have to figure out what’s going on in your head and you have to find creative new ways to cope with it that don’t involve cheese, chocolate, and powdered sugar. You also need to think through the pros/cons of bingeing and regaining. There’s obviously some big emotional payoff when you eat out of control and regain all the weight, otherwise you wouldn’t keep doing it over and over again. Maybe it’s a relief, maybe it takes the pressure off, numbs pain, lowers the bar, confirms some deep-seated belief that you’re not worth it. Plenty of people freak the hell out over unwanted sexual attention or unsolicited comments from other people. On some level, regaining the weight makes them feel safely invisible again.

The majority of the emotional stuff is totally subconscious. You may sabotage yourself over and over again and never look closely at what’s behind it. In order to fix it you need to drag all of that dark goo out of the recesses of your brain, take a good look at it, and confront it point by point. Like, if some of your goo is that you’re “weak-willed and don’t deserve succeed” ask yourself:

Is this a true fact or is it drivel I made up?
Does this thinking help me or hurt me?
Did I come to this conclusion myself or am I clinging to hurtful words that some fool said to me years ago?
How could I change this thought pattern into something more accurate and positive?

Like you might turn the weak-willed notion around and say, “I’m a strong person and I’m determined to succeed no matter what.” And it’s not enough to just write it down and throw it in a drawer somewhere. You have to live, breathe and become your new thoughts. That way when things get difficult, you don’t start babbling the same old subversive crap at yourself. If you approach adversity and doubt differently, you get different (successful) results. At first it sounds like positive thinking hoody-hoo, but it’s really crucial to face the difficult feelings head-on rather than with denial and cookies. That’s the only way your brain and your body are going to sync up and be a true reflection of one another. Dr. Phil gives some tips on how to do it:

Dr. Phil’s Ultimate Weight Solution had whole chapters on raking up your goo. It was all about emotional eating and thought processes and habits and triggers. People gave him hell for writing a “diet” book when he’s no physical Adonis himself, but it wasn’t a diet book and he never claimed to be a fitness expert. Losing weight is all about your brain, and who better to help you change your thinking than a psychologist? Until you get your brain in gear, the best fitness advice in the world won’t help you.

I would also add that just because you have issues doesn’t mean you have to muddle around eating Doritos and being introspective until you sort it out. It’s important to address your emotional issues, but you don’t have to get all of that stuff neatly wrapped up before you take action. Eat clean and workout. The next day, eat clean and workout some more. Planning and analyzing is fine, but at some point you have to just shut up and do it. If you don’t feel all strong and determined and in control of yourself, FAKE IT! Get up and do what a healthy, happy, fit, totally together person would do even if you’re a pudgy sniveling basket case right at the moment. That old Aristotle guy pretty much nailed it when he said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

So, choose your daily habits carefully because, good or bad, they’re what you’ll become.
written by Renee of Sqwiggs World.